10 Reasons Married Women Rarely Initiate Sex


One prevalent issue in modern marriages is the frequent lack of interest in s3x exhibited by many married women. It is a common trend for married women to be hesitant to initiate s3xual activity.

I understand that it can be frustrating sometimes, especially if you once had a healthy and active s3x life.

But remember, a problem can’t be fixed until the cause is known. That’s why we want to look at the most common reasons most married women are never in the mood or do not initiate s3x.

A Natural Thingy
By default, men have a higher s3xual drive compared to women. Research says that 51% of men would like to have s3x at least every day compared to only 7% of women who like to have s3x everyday.

So, yeah, it is just normal if the man is always the one doing the chase.

The Mom Mode
Most couples usually begin marriage with an exciting s3x life, with the wife initiating s3x, but once the wife gets pregnant, the mom mode activates and things change.

Most pregnant women experience low libido due to hormonal fluctuations.

Men must understand that pregnancy is a handful for women. Your pregnant wife will most likely not make a s3xual move due to the many physical, mental and psychological disorders accompanied by pregnancy.

For instance, anxiety is a common theme among pregnant women; she may wake up and start watching videos of how to push during labour. The thought of what awaits her when she’s due for delivery can become predominant in her mind, and that alone is enough to override any s3xual desire.

Fatigue simply means extreme tiredness. This is most common among breastfeeding and nursing moms. The trouble does not end after a pregnant woman delivers, it continues through the nursing and breastfeeding stage.

Caring for an infant is a lot of work. Sadly it is a 24/7 work, there’s no break. Nursing and breastfeeding mothers go to bed tired and totally exhausted everyday. The last thing on the mind of a nursing mother is s3x.

Morealso, excessive house chores will leave your wife tired and uninterested in s3x. Imagine just one woman, she will bathe the kids, prepare them for school, cook for everyone, sweep the house, wash clothes, iron them, pick the children from school, start cooking again…always busy from morning till night. There’s no way such a woman will initiate s3x. She’s sincerely tired. Any little time she has is to catch some breath and not for s3x.

You are Not just good in Bed
Hard to say but it is the reality of some men. A lot of men are only looking out to satisfy themselves during intercourse. And that makes s3x uninteresting for women.

For some men, they jump to the finale as soon as the start whistle is blown. No natural progression, no foreplay, no soft touch here and there, they just want to hit the jackpot already and get it done with.

Wives of such men will never initiate s3x because s3x is uninteresting to them
In fact, it is horrifying. It is their worst nightmare.

If you want your wife to initiate s3x, then you have to stop making s3x feel like a de*ath sentence. You must find a way to make it an interesting exercise that she’s always looking forward to.

Trust me, if she enjoys it, she will come back to ask for more.

The African Mentality
In this part of the world, many people believe that a good woman ought to be modest and not wild. People may consider it too extreme for a woman to ask her husband for s3x. Women are aware of these biases too, and they may refrain from asking for s3x just to fit into the class of a modest wife.

On the other hand, there are some women who believe that it is men that ought to chase them and not the other way round. Such women will never initiate s3x. They’ll rather speak with their actions and let the man notice them, they won’t just declare verbally that they want s3x.

Women in this category are very funny, You’ll see her forming activities, once she has put on her s3xy lingerie, na to dey parade up and down so that you go notice her. She can even do make up and spray perfume to bed.

The Alpha Male VS the Religious Woman
Also, there are some pro*ud, traditional, domineering, unapproachable and rigid men who believe that s3x is for the man alone. They believe it is rude and disrespectful for a woman to look her husband in the eyes and ask him for s3x. So they position themselves in such a way that does not give their wives the gut to place a s3xual demand.

Some women are overly religious. Their “spirikoko” nature won’t let them ask their husbands for s3x, even when there’s a burning desire for it. They kind of feel it is a carnal thing to do, so they just flow by the husband’s demands and never place their own.

Infertility Issues
A woman once told me that she usually denies her husband access to her body because they have been married for many years without kids. So, she considers s3x as a fruitless exercise. She feels “What’s the essence of the gymnastics when there’ll be no result!”

Married women who have difficulty with getting pregnant are usually not interested in s3x, they will most likely not initiate s3x
They just offer s3x as a wifely duty and nothing more.

I pray that God answers the prayer of every woman in this category. 🙏

Fear of Rejection
It takes a certain level of understanding and closeness before couples are able to freely discuss their s3xual needs with each other.

Should a woman find the courage to ask her husband for intimacy and he refuses, she might withdraw and suppress that desire indefinitely.
In worst cases, she may find alternatives that allow her to exercise s3xual liberty e.g s3x toys, cheating with a younger man that allows her to freely express herself.

Unresolved Conflict
Unlike some men that can pause a fi*ght with their wives, have s3x and continue the fi*ght, most women won’t ask for s3x when there’s an unresolved conflict.

If a woman initiates s3x, it is a proof that she’s happy. Once there’s an unresolved conflict that makes her unhappy, she won’t initiate s3x.

Lack of interest
Some women are just not interested in s3x, that’s their natural configuration.

Low Communication; Couples who don’t communicate on a deep level might find it difficult to discuss their s3xual needs with each other. You’ll all agree with me that a woman that can initiate s3x definitely has strong communication with her husband.

The Way Forward
Married women should identify reasons they don’t initiate s3x and discuss it with their husbands so that they can explore solutions together.

Married women ought to see initiating s3x as those things we do for love. Sometimes, you may not feel like, but because it makes your spouse happy, please do it. Be intentional.

Men must understand that in most cases, when a woman does not initiate s3x, it doesn’t mean she does not love her husband or she does not enjoy s3x. I’ll elaborate on this in the comment section.

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