3 Types of Ghost Lovers -Benjamin Zulu
The first type are those people who will build a relationship with you through talking and getting emotionally attached to each other but the moment you plan a physical meeting they dodge and stop communicating. Then the next day they make up excuses and try to pick up as if nothing happened. These ones I call them Floating Lovers because they only want to hover above your life and never to land and build anything concrete.
Their real problems are usually deep fear of rejection. They have reasons to think that once you encounter them in person you won’t be impressed. They may have exaggerated and lied about themselves and they don’t want you to find out the truth.
But this tactic is also used by love scammers, building a strong enough connection until they can con you without your ever meeting them. After that they can sinply switch off that phone and since you don’t know their physical location you’ll be helpless.
Then there are those who come out very strongly like they’re sure you’re what they’ve been looking for. You object that they haven’t really known you yet but they claim to have superpowers to sense at once that you’re their destined lover. You decide to play along and because of their sheer intensity of affection and attention you’re swept off your feet and you fall in love, head over heels. And then, like a windstorm, they vanish again. You’re left spinning in dizziness because the whole affair lasted unbelievably short time but you had been totally engulfed.
You’re ashamed to reach back to your friends after forgetting them and you may struggle with episodes of depression alone. I call this type the Raiders because of the way they invade your life and ‘suspend your constitution’ by making you disobey all the principles that have previously guided your life.
But what happened? You’re just a ‘submission accomplished.’ They’re romantic explorers and for that period you were the country of conquest. Your only sin was to suspend reasoning and allow whirlwind courtship just because it felt like a thriller movie. You forgot it was your real life and your real feelings being played on. Never betray your heart again like that. Those who storm into your life will always storm out in a similar fashion.
The last group is the type that leads you on with promising but inconsistent communication. They seem to be sincerely in love with you but every time they raise your hopes they crush them again. But they have seamingly very valid explanations about why they disappeared and this time, they’re here for serious business. They may even execute a step forward and convince you that they mean it, but then the reluctance sets in again.
By this time you’re hanging in limbo because they have managed to move you quite some distance from who you used to be. The tokens of investment they’ve been making have made you unpack and act like you’ve ‘found’ but in essence you’re frequently feeling alone and cheated. But still you’re stranded because going back is too much loss and moving forward is uncertain.
I call these ones Soft Cons. Their problem is that they’re genuinely imbalanced in life and they’re not even conscious of it. They don’t disorganise you on purpose. Their relationship with you resembles all other areas of their life. They’re just weak and disoriented. Your solution is to disengage early as soon as you notice the habit of dishonoring their word.
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