Is it bad to Marry a Woman With a Child – Benjamin Zulu
‘I sent my dad’s brother to pass my message to my dad regarding my intention to get married but when he was told the lady has a kid he said no. He said he cannot take dowry to someone with kid. Now am not in position to explain it to the lady. Please advice.’
What’s your decision yourself? Are you ready to let go of the woman you love because of your dad?
‘My dad’s difficult man and going against him is an uphill task. He once made things very hard for another cousin of ours who was in a similar situation and I wouldn’t want to go that route. I thought in my case he would be lenient but I was wrong.’
Alright then just communicate to her that your dad has rejected the idea and you’re unable to go against him. Or rather you’re not prepared for that kind of battle. She knows having a child can bring such biases and rejections so it shouldn’t come as a big surprise. Although it will be disappointing of course but better to be honest with her than to waste her time or to bring her to a hostile home when you’re unable to safeguard her.
Also in future avoid dating women who have children since you know who you’re dealing with. Of course the other risk is that you might end up alone for a longer time or with a mediocre marriage for having passed the opportunities to marry good women who you were highly compatible with. But it’s a direct result of fearing to stand up against your daddy.
There are other options of marrying quietly at the Attorney Generals and only going home later when you have other children, but still this route requires courage and emotional strength.
All the best man.
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