Innocent things you must never say to your man or you’ll lose him
They’re dangerous because they attack his identity and authority as a man. They’re innocent because you’ll most likely be saying them with good intentions but they will hit him like a most malicious attack.
One: why can’t you be like so and so? It’s better to communicate correction without using comparison. It’s insulting for a man to be compared by his woman to another man. If you want your man to never step in your church again, compare him to your pastor in this fashion!
Two: What kind of a man are you?
This is the same as telling him ‘You’re not a man enough,’ or ‘You need to man up.’ Instead, just be specific about what you wish he does differently. Becoming a man is not just biological but rather a learnt thing, and not all men had a mentor or father figure. You might actually know a lot that he doesn’t, because you had the opportunity to watch your dad. Just add to his masculine skills without inserting the sting of criticism in it.
Three: I thought you’re better than that.
Instead put it like ‘You tried, but I know you can do better.’ Or add other angles of deflecting blame to circumstances and other objects. ‘I think you were a bit tired or distracted when you did that. If you do it again I’m sure you’ll do much better.’
Four: ‘Who is the man here?’ Or ‘I’m tired of playing the man.’ Instead, just show how you feel alone or not supported enough. Of course you shouldn’t date spineless men to begin with. You want a man who can lift his weight and that of the relationship.
Five: ‘You’re not my class.’ Instead of saying this, just leave. And you must never throw such a word as a joke or prank.
Pranks should be generally funny and light hearted to cause fun and amusement, not confusion and anxiety.
Also, never threaten a breakup in any words, unless you really mean it and it concerns a deal breaker you had voiced before. Otherwise if you have the habit of throwing the breakup threat anyhow it will plant the idea in him that he has no future with him.
Are we saying you cannot express yourself freely or that you must walk on eggshells around your man? By no means! The point is to be wise and sensitive in your approach, so that you don’t make a correction feel like a destructive criticism.
(©️ Benjamin Zulu Global)
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