Ways You Could be Pushing Your Partner to Cheating- Benjamin Zulu
I know it’s been said that a partner’s cheating is their choice, and nobody else should be blamed for it but them. That’s comforting, but it’s not always complete. Granted that sometimes a person who is perfectly happy in their union can still stray because of poor boundaries with the opposite sex and lack of commitment to keeping their promises. The reasons people cheat don’t always have anything to do with their partner. But every time it happens, a partner wants to know whether they may have contributed in one way or another. Here are ways to tell.
The partner’s decision may have been personal, but unhealthy dynamics in the relationship may have contributed and influenced them.
1. If the wife has become a quarrelling sparrow. People tend to assume that a good wife shouldn’t talk a lot, and that’s far from true. When a woman is in her space, she must talk to manage it and process the many things that are running there concurrently. When she’s not talking, something is wrong. And it doesn’t matter whether her personality is reserved or expressive.
So it’s not a woman’s talking that makes the home inhospitable for the man, but rather the mood in her talk. Is it peaceful or stressful? If you complain and bring up old issues for hours on end, your man will find the home very inhospitable and go find another place to rest. It may be at the club with the boys where he may be introduced to the ‘solution’ other men have found for the same problem of a quarrelsome wife: a side chick!
2. When you neglect emotional connection with your wife.
It’s been said that a man may cheat when he’s not in love with the other woman, but for the woman by the time she cheats, she’s already invested emotionally. Again, this is another oversimplified explanation. True, a man may pay a prostitute just to ‘smash’ without any attachments, but most men don’t cheat that way. Many have a social image that won’t allow them to go that low. In any case, the cases of men sleeping with house managers are higher than those of them picking a lady at a club.
Cheating is complex even for men because in order to convince the other woman, he has to build a story. Why is he coming at her when he’s married? He’s usually cheating with another woman in his world. At work or somewhere along his route. Men are remarkably simple and predictable compared to women. The way they get stuck with women is usually plain and straight. A very high-ranking man can get sucked in by a hostess at a hotel just because she attended him very well. That’s all. They have no other point of connection, and they don’t share another world. Women will hardly cheat like this. By the time a woman is cheating with a random chef at a restaurant or cab driver, she’s lost it completely. This is not the typical tale with women who cheat. Usually, it’s someone who has become a shoulder to lean on, a present friend she goes to when stressed. Or someone she has known from the past, and they have a history. These factors facilitate the development of an emotional connection.
Of course if a woman is cheating for money none of these reasons need to be there, but materialistic women who can sell their body and their dignity for money are not wife materials and marrying her is a disaster to any man. Today, we’re discussing why otherwise good and committed people stray.
If, as a man, you neglect emotional intimacy with your woman, you’re forcing her to seek that elsewhere. Women need emotional connectedness as much as men need physical sex. This is so serious that most women must have this deep connection with a man to respond to him sexually. Without it, she’ll just be there, giving you the so-called conjugal rights, but she’s not engaged.
3. If, as a woman, you delegate wifely duties to the nanny.
Some things are personal and emotional to men. Things like serving him food, attending him when he arrives home, organising him when he’s leaving for work, and helping him find his car keys, on and on. We’re not saying you must always do these things yourself, especially when you have other three jobs – managing the home, managing the kids, and working at a job. But we’re saying you shouldn’t introduce another woman into that space. It’s your space, and you should be exclusive there.
Understand the psychology of men. When he was a boy, his mother straightened his collar, handed him the umbrella, picked the socks for him, packed lunch for him, reminded him to comb his hair, and so on. As a result, this personal attention became deeply primal and emotional for him. He subconsciously seeks another woman to play that role for him, and his heart will love whoever does it well.
Now you know why male dominated businesses always hire women. It goes beyond physical attractiveness. It’s a good service that melts men. In any case, those who do not control this aspect of themselves end up cheating with those girls who serve them. The hotel waitress or the househelp if she’s been allowed to serve him to closely and personally. But when you finally see the girl he cheated his beautiful wife with, you’re shocked. She may not be nearly as attractive. She just stroked his inner boy well.
Your solution is to either serve him personally or arrange for him to serve himself when it comes to personal effects. You can get assistants to help in handling the kids, doing chores, and even cooking, but the help should not spread to handling your husband. If food has been cooked and you’re not around, he serves himself, for example. If cloths or socks have been cleaned, he can pick them himself. If beddings have been cleaned, men can make their bed and shouldn’t be sending another woman to your bedroom when you’re away unless your man has a disability.
4. Lastly, a woman who never initiates intimacy can be a bore in the long run.
A man doesn’t want to always be the one starting it and looking needy all the time. He can lose morale and the energy sags. He can also wonder whether his woman finds him sexy or not. As a woman, you should occasionally initiate either directly or just dressing provocatively.
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