How to Become a High Value Person-Benjamin Zulu
1. Change your self-talk and your automatic thoughts.
Your family shaped you to play a certain role according to what they needed. But you accepted it like your life, and you never questioned it. A healthy family would have encouraged you to explore and self determine, but most families are not healthy. At least not in Africa, where psychological well-being and conscious parenting are yet to be embraced.
If your parents were irresponsible, they made you the shepherd of the family. And that’s how you view your life to this day. Your self-worth comes from hunting for others and sacrificing yourself for them. Your self talk and your thoughts are about ‘I have to do this. It’s my life.’
The solution is to step outside of the bucket and look at your life with detachment. You already don’t like the role you’ve been playing and the labels you were assigned.
Now, change the role and the label. ‘From today, I will be the author of my story. I will no longer be just a receiver of it. I will script it myself.’ Then change the label ‘I am no longer the sacrificial lamb for other people’s happiness. I will be the first priority, and I will pour into myself before I pour into anyone else.’
2. Become a Prince or Princess.
Start to carry yourself with elegance. If your job is dusty and rugged now, do not settle there and stay in that energy. Otherwise, you’ll never get out. Instead, find a way to bring in this energy of royalty there. You can put on the overalls when you’re at work, but during the commute, you change into your elegant outfits.
Most importantly, change your vocabulary. Stop expressing lack and scarcity. Do not say things are hard or the economy is tough. Even when you can not immediately afford something you wanted, do not curse or complain that it’s too expensive.’ Just say ‘my budget cannot accommodate that for now,’ to mentally leave the possibility to grow into it.’ The way you talk shapes your reality. Why? Because there’s one person who is always hearing what you say – yourself. And remember, your subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between a joke and truth. Never confess scarcity even as a joke.
Embody abundance as if you know you will eventually own all things. Act as if you’re on course, and it’s only a matter of time before you can afford anything you want.
This is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
But if it’s so simple, why so few people do it, you ask? Because of the burden of hope. People prefer to eliminate expectation and confess defeat so that they don’t risk disappointment. If they say everything is ruined, they will have less to explain when they fail. Yes, it’s an advance preparation for failure and little effort. It’s risky to dare to succeed because you’re risking to fail, and many are avoiding that risk.
3. Delete Failure From Your Vocabulary
Great people don’t fail. They just learn. Adopt that mindset. Every time you suffer setbacks and disappointments, you view them as lessons. The time or money you lose is a kind of school fee.
4. Introduce a Wellness Routine to Your Life
Set at least one hour every day where you meditate, study, and reflect. Most people are always running in life. They stay on electronics and gadgets all their waking time. As for you, unplug from technology and plug into nature and your inner self at least twice every day; a few minutes before bed and one hour in the morning. Let not your phone be the last thing you touch before sleep and the first thing you touch upon waking up. You’re getting drowned by the world. Get a separate alarm to wake you apart from your phone. Control the curiosity to check it when you wake up and instead go to your wellness routine.
Feed your soul, replenish your mind, and jump-start your body. Then, show up to the world. In that order.
This way, you will keep your health and your wellbeing optimal, and you will respond to problems before they become a crisis. Many people are always in crisis because they don’t have time to reflect. They’re always distracted with work and the cares of life until everything catches them by surprise.
5. Value purpose before pleasure.
Make your life before you try to make love. Marry your mission before you marry a man. Seek your work before you seek your woman. Understand that romance is only fulfilling when it comes after your purpose. The right partner should complement your direction in life. Marriage is like a vehicle in that it carries you along a certain path, but you need to determine where you want to go before you board.
Wrong marriage is the most common killer of people’s purpose. Many never become high value because they’re busy managing or suffering from a bad union.
6. Seek Out Fellow Travellers
High Value people are always becoming. They share the consciousness of self-improvement and intentional living. Seek them out during your socialisation time and stop showing up for your stale friendships.
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