How to Say ‘It’s a No From Me’ Without Guilt and Without Ghosting- Benjamin Zulu
This is not about breaking up because there wasn’t an exclusive relationship yet. At least not any you had agreed to. This is about communicating your conclusion after considering this person through a few dates you had with them or conversations that were of that nature. Your message contains a disappointment, but it is needed for purposes of closure and clarity. You don’t want to just disappear without a word. This is emotional cruelty. Neither do you want to draw the thing out and keep them hoping when you already know you don’t want this.
This is what you shall write them especially if they’re a person you share space as work colleagues, neighbours or business area.
‘I think I need to share that while I enjoyed our dates and our interactions, I unfortunately don’t think we’re compatible for the long term. I wish you plenty of luck in finding your person.’ This message diffuses any tension if you happen to collide in a lift or at a friend’s place.
If you think the person got obsessed with you while you didn’t feel them on your side, write something like this. Remember, we’re using writing as opposed to speaking because it helps to save face as well as keeping your message on record. ‘I truly appreciate the connection we shared. (You’re validating their strong feelings towards you for purposes of being compassionate.) Nevertheless, I am looking for someone with my kind of lifestyle, and I don’t think we’re a match. But I am confident that you will find a more suitable person for you and I wish you luck.’
If a person has already filled gaps that you’re a thing already and they’re telling people about it just because you met a couple of times, you need to burst their bubble and get them from your neck. ‘While I was reflecting on the interactions we’ve had so far, I realized that I want a different relationship dynamic than this. And for this reason, I don’t see us going any further. Thank you for the time we shared, and I hope you succeed where you go next.’ We’re using a pointed conclusion to leave no doubt or room for negotiation. After that, you should stop responding to them for a period long enough for them to move on.
What if you had already expressed love for each other and almost committed? You need a message that explains why you’re taking a step back. ‘I know we had a great connection, and we were both excited at the possibility that we’ve finally found each other. But upon further reflection, I realized that this is not it for me. I know we may have said things that sounded like we were sure already, but I think we also have to be true to ourselves. I hope you get over this soon and find your perfect match without much hassle.
Lastly, this is for guys who had approached a lady and confessed their feelings, but now they regret doing that. ‘I know I came to you and expressed my feelings to you, and you were gracious enough to allow us to date. After getting to know you better and feel our vibe together, however, I have to confess that this is not exactly what I’m looking for. Allow me to set us free again to continue the search for our suitable mates.
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