Just because You’ve Known a Person Your whole Life Doesn’t Mean They’re Good For You
Familiarity gives us false comfort and it deceives us to gloss over due diligence and checking a person’s background.
We mistake years of being acquainted to mean that we know them. After all, everyone will be delighted to hear that the person you’re getting married to is the same so and so they all know. It feels safe and no surprises.
But many have found themselves shocked by the reality of the person they thought they knew. When dating someone you’ve known for long, the rules are as follows.
First, you knew them from outside. Whether because you hail from the same church or village, or because your families interacted, all this was on the outside of who that person is. Most people are nicer to you when you’re not family. And appearances are very easy to fake.
Marrying them, however, takes you to the inside. You become family and you see their true character. You may find that they’re a social chameleon- charming to the world and unloving or cruel to their own family.
Secondly, people evolve into a very different adult from the child you used to know. Many lose their innocence and their niceness and they turn into a very different creature. There may have been times you lost touch as you went about with your studies and preparations for life. You cannot tell what values they picked up during those times.
Solution? The moment you begin to consider doing life with them, launch your study of them afresh. Have conversations with a different energy now, as opposed to ‘picking up from where you left.’
More so if you went to the same college but you lost touch for a few years since that time, the rapid changes people experience in mid 20’s are often phenomenal. Do not bank too much on who they seemed to be back then. Listen to their story now and examine their moves with a fresh eye.
(©️ Benjamin Zulu Global)