Before I got married to Elizabeth, my childhood sweetheart, we really loved each other but now on the verge of divorce — I realized that my mother is the cause of my marital problems.
One night after one of our frequent outbursts, I was seething with so much anger that I didn’t want to see Elizabeth.
We both wanted a divorce. And although it was really late, I drove to my parent’s house to spend the night and inform them that Elizabeth and I were both moving for a divorce.
When I entered my parents house, my mother didn’t need to ask me. The look on my face said it all.
“You and Elizabeth quarelled again”, she said sounding more like stating a fact than asking a question.
“Yes, mummy”, I mumbled as I frowned. “It’s all her fault. She is so stubborn and annoying — nothing like you in character”, I added.
My mother let out a brief chuckle and I began wondering why in St. Pete’s name should my own mother laugh at my predicament.
“Is that all?”, she finally asked.
“Yes, but mummy why are you laughing?”
“It’s all my fault my child, it’s my fault”, my mother declared.
“You mean my marital troubles are all your fault, but mummy how?”, I asked barely able to conceal my surprise.
I have heard of mothers who did diabolic things to their children but, my mother hardly passed to be one of them.
“I will tell you but you must go home tomorrow and come back in seven days so that I can set you free”
I prodded and insisted but she was firm. That night I could barely sleep knowing that my mum could fix my marriage.
The following day, I returned to my house and became even more listless. Sleep seemed to be my enemy then.
When the seventh day, being a Saturday came, I arrived at my parent’s place with the rise of the sun.
I greeted my mother suspiciously and began to pour out my heart to her how I wanted to live in peace with Elizabeth.
My mother asked that I sit beside her, she cleared her throat and began:
Turning to me she said, “Your problem is that you have wedded your wife but you haven’t married her yet”.
“But mummy, we are married o, we did traditional, court and white marriage”.
“Thats why you are still a child, my son. You wed a personality but you marry a character”
“Ah! Mummy what do you mean?”, I asked.
“Nwam, marriage brings two people of different characters together. The more you stay, the more your character unfurls. When your dad and I got married we had issues too”.
“I remember when your dad once had an important meeting in which he invited his colleagues and business partners to the house. Due to the stress of cleaning up the house and cooking all alone, I prepared the evening meal and forgot to add salt in it”
At this point, I was looked surprised that my mother could make such a mistake.
“Immediately, your father and his partners began eating with me at the table too, we all stopped. The look on their faces showed they knew what was wrong — The soup had no salt in it”.
“I was ashamed and wanted to speak up an apology but your father immediately let out a heartily laugh and said that it was because of his health, the doctor had Instructed that he avoids salt. He apologized”.
“The partners bought it and laughed over it. They added table salt to their taste but your dad had his meal unsalted just to keep my respect in front of others. If you were the one, what would you have done Daniel?”
I bowed my head feeling abashed because, I would have taken offense.
“So you see, my son, marriage is about respect. You must respect her in front of people and at home, and be ready to make sacrifices”, my mother said.
Then she continued, “I also remember when I came back from work so exhausted. My back and every other part ached and I had had a bad day”
“Your father wanted to make love to me, and just as he started kissing and handling me, he saw the look on my face and knew that I wasn’t in the mood. I was tired”.
“Rather insisting, he asked to know the matter. I explained to him that I was tired and not in the mood. I told him how my day went and he comforted me”.
“He took me in his arms and rocked me as he told me stories till I slept. Communicate with her so that you can understand her — A real man listens to his woman”.
As I nodded soaking in her words she continued: “My son there was a day your father and I argued so bad that I was sure I wanted a divorce just like you”.
“We argued so much and in the course of it all, I slapped him”
“He rushed towards me so fiercely. I shrunk and curled up in one corner of the bed as his hard hands met my body”.
“His strong hands embraced me and stroked my hair inspite if his anger. I knew I had offended him because his arms pulsated. His brows were furrowed but he kept himself”.
“He took his keys and left the house to vent his anger. I was confused and tortured by my feelings and when he eventually returned”.
I knelt to beg him. Your wife is like a child, love her and overlook her faults.
As she said this, tears streamed down my cheeks and I hugged her but I still had to ask.
“But mummy, why did you make me wait for seven days before telling me this?”
“I wanted to see if you still loved her, because in the end son, the heart of the matter is that, it is the heart that matters”.
My marriage is now more blissful after listening to my dear mother confession.
Learn from this please.
By John Mining