Signs That You’re Only a ‘Starter Wife’-Benjamin Zulu
That is, you’re only needed during the struggling phase of his life, and after you’ve built him up he’ll then get a ‘trophy wife.’
One, he relies on your money.
Whether that’s fifty-fifty or just an allocated set of bills that are compulsorily yours. If you don’t bring in your money there will be crisis. You know you must go out there and get money for the family. Or you have no privacy with your money. He has to know who much you’re making and that it’s all spent on family. You’re a beast of burden, not a queen.
That is, you’re not really in the position of a wife but a co-husband of sorts. He is not the leader in covering the family. Whether you’re expecting or babysitting, the demand is constant.
In a healthy marriage the primary duty of providing belongs to the man, and the wife only assists. The primary duty of the woman is to take care of the family and manage the home. Then she can work as a ‘second job’ on top of this and contribute whatever she can manage to bring.
A sincere man assumes the full responsibility for taking are of his family. Yes he expects his wife to chip in to the extent she comfortably can, and they do budget together, but he doesn’t pressure her to it.
Two; you don’t see yourself as a woman but only as a worker.
You believe that your value in this union comes not from who you are as a woman but from what you do. You have no connection with your beauty, your energy and your uniqueness. As a result, you volunteer too much or take on too much responsibilities.
Lastly, you’re not allowed to delegate.
You must be a beast of burdens even when you have a house assistant. You must do chores while you’re still working or having a small baby. This insensitive and unreasonable attitude communicates a disregard for your wellbeing and a disrespect for you as a manager of the home. It means you’re just being used and when things get better you will easily get discarded.