SUPPRESSED FEELINGS DESTROY RELATIONSHIPS- APOSTLE JOSEPH HELLON
Communication comes from images, feelings thoughts, sounds, memories, figures and experiences…to say but just a few. These are converted to words. Words are objects.
They become what they mean in the tangible world. Words are spirits that become physical manifestations of what they mean. The moment a word comes out of your mouth, that word begins to fulfil itself in the natural realm.
In relationships, words that remain unexpressed fail to accomplish their purpose. This leads to anger, fear, frustrations, timidity and a whole load of sicknesses in tow. You need to express your feelings by use of words if you are to grow healthy emotions. Failure to express emotions and thoughts is called emotional dishonesty. Emotional dishonesty breaks relationships.
SUPPRESSED emotions become toxic. A point reaches where these suppressed emotions force their way out just like a burst balloon. That’s when all the toxic fermented words spill out and the recipient of those words gets hurt deeply. In a marriage setting, such words can lead to divorce or separation. To enjoy a healthy relationship, begin to practice speaking out as you express your happy and unhappy emotions. Just watch out never to be indiscriminate as you speak. Balance and moderation is key in relationships and that must be the guiding streak when dealing with marriage and family.
David learnt to express himself to God and to man. As a result, David’s heart became like God’s own heart. Purity of heart comes to those who express what they feel as honestly as possible.
Act 13:22 KJV And when he had removed him, he raised up unto them David to be their king; to whom also he gave testimony, and said, I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after mine own heart, which shall fulfil all my will.
He cried when there was need to. He missed God’s house and used expressive words to say so.
Psa 42:1-2 KJV
1 To the chief Musician, Maschil, for the sons of Korah. As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.
2 My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?
Do you see how David openly talked about his desire for God and for his house? You need to do the same. Talk openly about your desire for God and for your loved ones too. Open up your heart and say what’s within. Disclosure heals but only when done in wisdom. Things must still be spoken on a need to know basis.
David cried whenever he felt the pain of slander and ridicule. His tears became his food as people blasphemed his God. He didn’t suppress his feelings. He actually poured out his soul in honest and candid talk. He talked to God first before addressing his issues with others. That should be your method as well.
Psa 42:3-4 KJV
3 My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, Where is thy God?
4 When I remember these things, I pour out my soul in me: for I had gone with the multitude, I went with them to the house of God, with the voice of joy and praise, with a multitude that kept holyday.
David’s heart was so healed and purified that even after his own son Absalom executed a failed coup against him, and the young man was killed, David wished he had died in the place of his son. His heart was tender. He achieved this by talking. Never remain silent when you have something to say. In times of success and happiness, talk! In times of pain and anguish, talk! Don’t keep it to yourself. Talk to God first and then to the concerned persons in wisdom.
2Sa 18:33 KJV And the king was much moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept: and as he went, thus he said, O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! would God I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son!
Would you say the same of a person who’s just made an attempt to kill you? With a purified heart, it’s possible. A purified heart is a heart that goes for peace. This heart never revenges but talks to God about its pain and frustrations. Pure hearts see God in everything, even in the most difficult circumstances.
Mat 5:8-9 KJV
8 Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
From today onwards, don’t keep stuff inside your heart. Find a trusted, mature and a loving person to whom you can pour out your heart as you receive godly counsel in the way you should go. God uses people to instruct and guide us. Ask for help from those who care for you. Seek advise. Those who ask always receive.
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