There’s no safe way to remain in a relationship with a person who has no conscience
Remember there’s no safe way to remain in a relationship with a person who has no conscience or human decency, and whose only driving motive is to satisfy their own needs and to put you down.
There’s no healthy way even for coparenting with such people. Your only sure defense is to avoid getting children with people before you get to know them well enough. Of course bad people always try to act and pretend and that’s why you must sharpen your discernment.
The devil himself transforms himself to an angel of light but those who possess discernment will still identify him at once. The problem really is not how cunning narcissists are but how gullible and naive many of their victims are. They take things at face value or they sense a disturbance in their spirit but they suppress it because ‘they’ve come too far’ with the person.
So if you find yourself having to coparent with a narcissist, remember their goal is never to build the child but to destroy you. The children become only a point of access to hurt and frustrate you. They will spend money to buy the kids what will make you look bad. Expensive phones, toys, gaming equipment, trips.
They don’t care if the children become addicted or anything because as long as they’re causing you stress they’re winning. They will keep promising the children things and raising their hopes very high and then failing to show up, just to harass you and the children and feel ‘powerful.’ Remember you’re dealing with a very deranged mind. Nothing is normal here.
But the courts won’t understand that so you just have to take self protective measures.
Solution? Prepare for difficult decisions in order to safeguard your peace. This is not a normal coparenting situation and so while you love your kids that’s not the only determining factor, or even the most important one. The first priority here is to get off this person from your space and bring peace to your life and, of course, they will not cooperate.
So you must weigh between maintaining a coparenting arrangement if you’re able to pin them to your boundaries, and hope the kids will resist too much brainwashing. That’s still their parent and if they insist on seeing the kids or they have court orders you just have to cooperate. But if they get bored and disappear then you’re lucky.
You can use their absence to train up the children and instil values. In short,whether you know it or not, getting a child with these deranged humans is signing up for a very long battle.
Courtesy Benjamin Zulu