There’s something agonising in ‘almost’ relationships- Benjamin Zulu

Meeting a person with whom you have so much affinity and compatibility except for one or two elements. You understand and ‘get’ each other from within and they make you feel so comfortable around them in a way that nobody else ever did. Your aspirations are similar and you see life from the same point. Suddenly you feel like you’ve ‘arrived’ and you anticipate relief.

But then it emerges that there’s one or two things that are off between you. Usually such issues are deep and fundamental, something like readiness. They may not be looking to settle right now and they have another journey to do before they can think about marriage. Or they’re ready just like you but they’re about to relocate to another continent. You’re not able to move yourself and you feel so discouraged.

Or they could receive news that they and a former lover are expecting a child and everything changes. Their priorities and where they are in life is altered and it will take them a long time to reorganise their lives.

Solution? You’ll be tempted to ‘hang around and hope things get better.’ But beware. People who came close to being a perfect fit for you are dangerous to your wellbeing. You may find yourselves forcing something and you end up in a very ugly entanglement. A long distance relationship where there’s no clear plan for a future together.

A whirlwind affair where emotions fly high and then you struggle to love another person because you have an unreal precedent of love. Or you both agree to dig a ditch by getting a child to bind both of you together. You essentially end up scripting a real life telenovela of headache and frustrations.

The best thing is to be quick and decisive the moment you learn that a relationship is impossible. You act quickly to protect your heart and avoid complications. This may sound strange but you need the ability to block someone because you like them too much and they’re unavailable. You better believe it.

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