To become a single mother at 28 is a very expensive- Benjamin Zulu

To become a single mother at 28 is a very expensive mistake because that’s the age you should be getting married with pride. If someone gets a child at 38 most likely she did her math: she has financial stability to take care of the child without straining may be, she weighed the seasons of her life, on and on.

And I’m not saying one cannot opt out of marraige and decide to just get a child instead, rather I’m referring to the 99% of single ladies in their mid 20’s who get children not out of choice and planning but out of careless mistakes. This is for those who are trying to get married and how to avoid ending up as a disappointed single mother instead.

Life has seasons and although you can get married at any age, 26-29 seems to be the peak of youth and the ideal age for most people. This is the time you have the time and energy to mingle and search for a partner without the confines of a very busy job or other social responsibilities that catch on with you later in life. Even flower sellers try to capitalise on the few hours when the flowers are most fresh to make a fortune, and youth has a similar trend of peak season and vibrancy.

Your wisest course at this age is to never tie yourself to anyone during these prime years in the so called long term relationships; never to be sleeping with anyone even if yoire in a relationship- because that’s how people relax knowing they’re getting all you have to offer and the relationship plateaus.

You’re to increase your speed of mingling with other single people and to avoid married men so much even as to hug them – because some get a feel of your skin and they get obsessed with you. Avoid jobs that close you in and deny you the room to chat and meet up with people; be open to travel anywhere in the world when the opportunity shows up because those are prime chances of meeting new people. Try dating apps and dating services – there’s nothing to loose because if you don’t like them you just leave.

Conduct an overhaul of your clothes and upgrade every outfit to match your season; unfriend foolish people and the jealous girls you had dragged along from college and from the village- they can gossip you to your lover and spoil things. Put your best and catchy photos on ALL your social media platforms from LinkedIn to WhatsApp. Remove all the male and female friends you had posted on your wall in previous years- new visitors will always scroll your photos and they can’t tell which man is a boyfriend and which one is a brother or a cousin.

Again, if you’re in this age group and you don’t feel ready this should not give you pressure. These are merely social trends and patterns and you’re to consider your unique journey in life because sometimes your path in life is unique. Date only when you feel mentally ready. If you have a personal healing journey to do first, take your time and you’ll find grace when you’re ready.

That said, if you’re in late 20’s and instead of focusing on getting the man of your dreams you’re instead getting stolen away from the market and sleeping with some character somewhere whom you’ve baptised your ‘boyfriend,’ congratulations for topping the chart of fools.
(©️ Benjamin Zulu Ke)

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