What Happens in the Period of Incubation in a Relationship-Benjamin Zulu
There’s a period of incubation everyone must undergo to come home to themselves. During this time you peel off layers of childish naivety, control and conditioning by your family and friends, and then you design the kind of life you want to live based on your personality and your passion. Only at this point can you find true love, the kind of love that is aligned with who you’ve become.
Every other entanglement you get into before this process will always turn out to be an inhibition and a misfit. There may be people you dated because they felt sweet to your appetites but because you were yet to come home to yourself it all failed in the end.
This is why sometimes you need to check your relationships afresh because some are not soul connections, especially those full of pain and tension. They’re attachments you created to fill up the void left by the absence of who you are, low self esteem, loneliness and emotional pain. Some relationships in your life are stale and tasteless because they’re not supposed to be there. They came before you became.
You were not home yet when you got into them, you didn’t have your bearings right. They were a temporary scratch for the itch of not having become yourself.