What Should You Do If Your Husband or Wife Keeps Communicating With His Ex Whom They Had a Child Together- Benjamin Zulu
It’s now one year since I was married. Yes I love the man but problem comes from his ex girlfriend who had gone away with his child. So on Sunday I found that they are still communicating and even meeting so am wondering what they are up to. When I talk to a man he says there is nothing between them so am confused on what to do.’
Of course they’re still together. You did a very shody homework on their relationship and now you must put your foot down or you’ll continue being cheated on in broad daylight.
There are rules for dating or marrying someone who is coparenting. As much as you don’t want to separate the child from the parent you also want security for your union and an arrangement that doesn’t cast doubts. Remember these two people have crossed the lines in the past and even gone so far as to get a child. So for them to slide back there it’s as easy as the snap of a finger. This is what makes it easy for people to cheat with their baby daddy or baby mama. They know each other’s weaknesses, or sometimes they ARE each other’s weakness.
Of course some people will argue they never had much of a relationship or whatever was between them has since dried up, or one of them has moved on. But how can you be sure? At some point they had enough feelings for each other to get intimate so how can you be sure the same feelings won’t come back when they’re together?
The solution is very simple: never date a person who is coparenting unless you see proof of a changed person from who they were back then and not just words of regret. Stop getting persuaded by bags of hot air like that. Anyone can say anything and not mean a word of it.
You must see them including you fully in the coparenting WITHOUT you pressuring for it. If they keep going underground to meet the child or the parent, they ARE still doing things. Don’t be fooled.
In general, it’s the duty of anyone who wants to marry you when they already have a child to order their lives in such a way that gives you transparency and peace of mind. Make it your personal rule that if you have a child you’ll draw clear lines so that no mistrust or friction happens with your future spouse.
And if you’re the spouse decide that you’ll never get involved where a person is behaving shady with past lovers even if there’s a child involved.