Men traditionally don’t like marrying high achieving women unless they’re high achieving themselves. This is for the obvious reason that they fear being overpowered or not feeling in control of their own marriage.
Achievement is often context specific, and here, by high achieving, we mean attaining enough success in business or career to afford a comfortable lifestyle as opposed to getting by from paycheck to paycheck.
Women who attain that level of financial power are usually focused on career development during their adolescent years more than on finding a mate. Even if they get into relationships or they have bad experiences in that area, they never cease striving to get established economically. In deed, many make the decision to grow their career after a painful breakup. They come face to face with the pain of being heart broken whe you’re also broke, and they decide to at least alleviate the one pain that depends on them.
The problem comes in when this lady turns around later when she’s ready to settle, and suddenly, there’s no one for her. The last time she checked, there were men all over desiring to marry her. But now her economic development has changed everything. It has altered how she’s perceived.
You should remember that your money and your mind always grow together. You earn according to what you learn.
So by the time a lady is earning better, she has already transformed her way of thinking, and what she looks for in marriage has evolved as well.
This personal transformation, combined with the socio-economic migration she has done, amounts to one conclusion: the rules of dating for high achieving women must be different. She can not operate with the same traditional rules of the man being the breadwinner, for instance, or the woman getting kids and staying home. On this level, the woman relaxes on non-essential rules to focus on the critical aspects of a relationship.
Her considerations now narrow down to whether the man is kind and considerate, whether he is emotionally secure and humorous, whether he’s dedicated to his job whatever field his job may be, and whether he loves her as a person and not as the ‘package’ she is.
If these conditions are met, she has found her mate even if she’s earning more than him. In any case, she doesn’t individualise her money. It’s more of a family resource than it is personal, and she never brings it up in their interactions. Like all other relationships, her marriage is founded on genuine care and trust between them. Money is only a resource, not a weapon.
As long as they can flow in their thinking and doing things, she’s found her mate.
This doesn’t mean compromising and trying to fix unmotivated and parasitic men, as some have attempted. Rather, it means to be humble and wise in her affairs and not insisting on things that don’t really matter on her level. She’s just being true to her frequency, and she doesn’t try to convince society about it.
This also explains why a university professor can be married to a businessman who never went far with education. But he developed himself through other channels, and the two have a meeting point. He’s responsible and trustworthy, and that’s all that counts. Whereas a traditional woman would have been hung up on the man’s level of education, a high achieving woman focuses on his level of thinking, whether he developed it in school or in the streets. Is he ready to step up and lead a family? Do they rhyme as friends and lovers? Thank you very much. That’s all that matters.
And that’s why this calibre of women plays by different rules.