Driven Children Beware: This is How Poor Families Kill Their Rescuers
Hey Benjamin!
I was watching your video on ‘How to heal from perfectly hidden low self esteem’ and I was crying throughout. I wish I had someone who understood the negative effects of parentification, especially how hard people try to hold on when one attempts to start their own life. The guilt trip and ganging up by relatives to keep you the family saviour for eternity can be draining!
It took four years of serious self work to get my own personal space and peace. Approaching mid 30s and I feel sad about lost time. Apart from modest career achievements, I don’t have much financially or socially. My time and money was spent on parasitic family members(because at some point it was more about control than being needy). I wonder what I could have done differently, but I didn’t know much back then. All my attempts to liberate myself were met with fierce resistance and I always gave in.
I am fine now but occasionally there are triggers and regrets at how I was stupidly selfless. I’m moving on and at times I feel like I have woken up from a long nightmare that I’m not sure I have completely run away from.
Especially the depression part! It hit me after a decade of enduring so much. I almost ended my life! Even at this very low moment, I received no support after all I had done for them. (Actually, they don’t care!)
I was ignored and insulted many times for not reaching expected milestones. (When will he/she get married, he even normal?)
In the ensuing isolation, my mind started unravelling. I almost went mad! I’m a first born and it feels like I grew up in a different family setting from the rest of my siblings.
Lastly, keep speaking about taboo subjects like narcissistic parents. It can help victims know that at least someone understands their pain. That in itself can help them start a journey towards healing.
Your videos almost make me feel like you have been observing my life. You have quite accurate observations!
(©️ Benjamin Zulu Global)
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