How to Avoid Conflicts in Marriage
The Apostolic Bishop of Kenya Assemblies of God Nyahururu District His Grace Bishop Simon Kieru has taken a moment to share with us avenues on how to avoid conflict in marriage..
Remember last week we delved much into the causes of conflicts.
Here is what the highly respected Man of God has to say:
“Six steps for resolving Conflicts:
Conflict can lead to a process that develops oneness or isolation. You and your spouse must choose how you will act when conflict occurs as elaborated by Dennis Rainy, 2002 (Family Life)
1. Resolving conflict requires knowing, accepting, and adjusting to your differences.
Couples live together while each has different values, backgrounds, and beliefs as a result of so many things that make a person. As time goes these differences start to cause misunderstanding. To resolve that kind of conflict, it becomes necessary to ignore these differences and decide to accept each other and move on in marriage happily.
2. Resolving conflict requires defeating selfishness: All our differences are magnified in
marriage but everyone should foster the interests of the other and where possible give on themselves to defeat selfishness Philippians 2:4.
3. Resolving conflict requires pursuing: Romans 12:18, talks about living in harmony with
others. To pursue the resolution of conflict, need to set aside your hurt and bitterness and seek to make your spouse happy. As you endeavor to make her/him happy you become along the way.
4. Resolving conflict requires loving confrontation Prov 25:11,15. According to Dennis
Rainy, 2002, “he who has a good friend needs no mirror” but this is possible when one does a confrontation with simple, kind, and loving ones. When we use harsh words in any confrontation the other party ends up guilty retaliates defensively and sometimes with bitterness.
5. Resolving conflict requires forgiveness: Since conflicts are part and parcel of life, the only
way to live happily is to learn to forgive this may not be easy, but it requires us to have a stronger relationship with God first. He is the one who can enable us to genuinely forgive.
6. Resolving conflict requires returning a blessing for an insult. Peter 3:8-9. Do not return
evil for evil or an insult for an insult. Proverbs 15:1. A gentle answer turns away wrath. In resolving couple conflicts or any other conflict in a relationship, one has got to learn to avoid revenge. Peter 3:8-9. It requires practice to be able to return an insult with a blessing.
Conclusion:
God’s purpose in our conflicts is to test our Faith, to produce endurance, to refine us, and to bring glory to himself. Marriage is a permanent institution in which we do not move in and out, therefore, living happily is optional but Godly.”
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