Campus Beauty Craving For World War 3 Invites All 16 Boyfriends To A Restaurant, Films Their Confused Reaction From A Distance Like Cleopatra As Hell Breaks Loose
Imagine showing up to date, all excited, flowers in hand only to meet fifteen other niggas claiming that your girlfriend is also their girlfriend. A doomsday scenario played out in reverse in Umoja when my cousin was met with the unexpected. For the past three months, he couldn’t stop yapping about being in a “stable” relationship. His girlfriend, a second year student at Methodist University, is yet to make the effort to meet us, his supporters and fans.
He called me a few hours to departure to confirm if arriving an hour early is a sign of desperation. I of course told him to manage his expectations. Did he?? He bought flowers, sprayed perfume all over, until his armpits were soaked with Blue for Men Rasasi and left hurriedly. Half an hour later, several other men, of different color, size and ethnic background picked random spots at the restaurant. Unknown to them was, they were all waiting for the same person to come; Vivian Moraa!!
It didn’t take long for the social ones to start talking to each other.” So, who are you here to meet?? Vivian?? Vivian who?? That’s my girlfriend bro, leave her be”. Tom Wambora, my cousin, couldn’t believe it when in a short span, it dawned on him that this was a set up and not a date. Before long, there was tussling, knock-out punches, shoving and pushing.
While all of that was unfolding at the restaurant, Vivian sat at a joint opposite, sipping a Stoney and recording it on video. A permanent grin was also plastered on her face, like a candidate that has just been declared the winner in a tightly contested election. Tom didn’t participate in the fighting, as he was among those who slumped to the ground in tears. Vivian had played him dirty. He had already told several aunts that one day, she will marry her.
Vivian didn’t even bother to hide the details of how she arranged the whole thing when Tom called him later that evening. She even sent him the video, showing him wiping his face with serviettes. We did try to console him, assuring Tom that he was handsome and that one day, he will find a true romanticist like himself. Well, while we thought he was fine, turns out he wasn’t. Tom fell into depression. For weeks, he stayed indoors. He refused to eat, took no showers or even watch porn as usual.
Eventually, an aunt intervened when one-day Tom called her and announced that we should start thinking of what to say on his burial!! Thankfully, this particular aunt had a bag full of tricks. She contacted a native doctor called Dr. Kazimoto and sought his help. An appointment was set. Tom received a healthy dose of Love spells and came back looking like a freshly-laid chick!! I didn’t know Cleansing Rituals had such an effect on people!! Less than a week later, his song had changed. He was in love!! KAZIMOTO DOCTORS didn’t just rescue our Tom but also restored his beliefs, his energy and most importantly, his optimism.
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