What To Do If She Denies You Sex

‘Hello sir, my wife always start complaining at dusk when it’s almost bedtime. She either complains she’s tired or of headaches or she just creates a fuss to disrupt the mood for sex. This happens almost like 5 times in a week and it makes me feel like i beg for sex so much from her. By the way she has NEVER initiated for sex except ONLY when she feels i have given up after i try to get her to give me some for say like two straight days continuously and unseccesful.

At times i feel like she uses sex as a way of rewarding or punishing me, whenever i try to discuss it with her she turns it against me, accuses me of so many different things. Every time i try to discuss this with her she will accuse me with a different thing each time. There was a time i wanted sex when i tried fixing everything she was accusing me of, i tried taking everything she was complaining about, but at night when i tried to get sex she told me she’s not in the mood, then she went ahead and asked me if i want to rape her. I felt cold and so low as no one has ever told me that.

Is there something am not doing right or am i being too selfish please?’

What she’s doing to you is absolute cruelty and you need to stop playing along. Immediately.

Few people know the pain of being turned down and frustrated when you’re expecting a relief. And yet you know there’s no reason on her part except meanness.

To be made to beg for what you know is your right is humiliating.

There are women who are selfish and narcissistic but little is said about them because it’s assumed that a man should persevere. ‘Kimwanaume.’

If she’s unready to perform the roles of a wife, why is she sitting on the position and playing hide and seek?

If there’s another problem she should communicate and you guys tackle it together. But as it is, she’s just enjoying torturing you.

And if you don’t take a step quickly you’ll succumb into depression or heavy drinking or finding another woman. But remember cheating is never a solution because the one you’re cheating with is not a robot to just sing your tune. She is a person with her own agenda as well. If you take that route you’ll be getting on a very slippery road and you’ll end up in another kind of hell.

Needless to say, this will give your wife the perfect excuse to turn the blame on you.

Solution? Stop asking for the sex at once and retreat emotionally to gain clarity. Take a few days to think and make a series of final decisions. Desperate times require desperate measures. If she’s pushing you to the brink you cannot continue massaging her while she’s killing you.

One: you cannot compromise your character and your values because of someone else. If you get into sleeping around or drinking you’ll lose your personality and your track in life. And the problem won’t be solved anyway. This has been the fate of many men, and you must refuse going that route.

Two: You wanted marriage with someone who was ready to do marriage. But it seems this particular person only wants the benefits without paying the price. Perhaps she married you for the wrong reasons other than love and companionship.

Three: The next logical step is immediately exiting her from your life. She has already taken her position and it’s upon you to take yours. And yours must be ‘Sorry, i’m not playing this game.’

Four: Leave and start your life elsewhere, especially if there are children to avoid disturbing their lives. Then file for dissolution of the marriage and workout a coparenting arrangement. Do not bother gathering clan meetings or even attending one if she calls for them. People abuse relatives by calling them when they know how they mistreat you when it’s only two of you. Do not cooperate.

Five: take time to heal before marrying again.

In short, you can manage yourself better when you know you have no wife and you can wait for as long as necessary. But for her to be there, arousing you with her body and then tormenting you with blatant refusals, is inexcusable abuse. Never put up with it.