What to Do When They Start Playing These Games-Benjamin Zulu
When they start saying things like ‘I don’t think I’m good enough for you. You deserve someone better,’ usually it’s because they’re done using you, or they’ve found someone new. Someone who doesn’t know them like you do and is not asking the questions you’re asking. Someone who can not see their lies, someone who hasn’t yet experienced their deception.
Why didn’t they realize they weren’t good enough for you when they were using you and devouring your essence – whether that’s your resources for men or your body for women? Some women will stay with a generous man until she has accumulated resources, and then she leaves him with these lines of ‘you deserve better’ to go and enjoy life with people she truly loves. As for men, he will start throwing these insulting lines after wasting your entire dating period and even making you a single mother!
You shall now allow these kinds of users to go away scot-free. Let them pay the price by taking responsibility for anything you created with them. If it’s a child, give it to him. If it’s a joint business, take all of it away. Do not reward their dishonesty by letting them waste both your time and your money. Protect yourself.
Of course, this doesn’t suggest harming someone physically. That’s pointless, and it could land you behind bars. Rather, aim and getting what is rightfully yours and not being used as a stepping stone by someone who also disorganised your life so badly.
2. When they say,’My parents don’t like you.’
This is also a scapegoat when someone is done using you, and you shall not tolerate it without consequences. The only time you shall leave quietly is when they tell you in the beginning before you invest time or hopes into the relationship. But if they’re pulling this childish excuse two or three years into the relationship, you ought to get angry.
Have they suddenly become a child who can not make independent decisions? When they decided to date you, did they come with their parents? Did they mention from the beginning that they can not date without permission? Whatever reason their parents are quoting doesn’t matter now because this person knew you and they knew their parents. They ought to have done their due diligence and saved both of you time. Whether it’s your tribe their so called parents have an issue with, or the fact that you have a child, or you earn more than this person for ladies, it was upon them to make a decision.
Your solution, again, is to make sure you take back any privileges you have given them. These people are usually manipulative, and by this point they will have managed to get you investing in their life. They may be driving your car already, or you’re pumping your money into their business. After all, you were getting married, and plans were underway.
A warning: never invest together with a fiancee and never buy them things like cars. That’s too much too soon, and it confuses you while blurring the boundaries. Also, a woman who has received a car may not withhold sex anymore. And yet men can get you a car just to access you sexually, knowing they can always take it back when they’re done exploiting you. You can’t take back your essence, but they can take back their assets.
Again, keep off huge gifts, investments and intimacy until marriage. It will help you not to marry a con.
3. ‘I need to work on some things now.’
Again, if they said this on the onset, you’d have simply left them alone. But usually, they bring this when it’s their turn to honour their word and take the relationship to the next level. Disappear immediately, and disappear with everything that they had cheated out of you.
4. ‘I am pregnant.’
If you didn’t rape anyone, bro, do not be cornered by anyone. A lot of women use pregnancy as a ticket to your life. Consensual sex between two adults of sound mind can not be blamed on one of them. You shouldn’t ‘atone for your sin’ by marrying her. Even if your parents are traditional and forcing this line of action, stand your ground. You shall never marry under these circumstances, or else you’ll end up stuck with a stranger who you only shared a moment of weakness. Just coparent. If she knew how to have sex surely she knew how to handle all the possible fruits of that sex, including babysitting and coexisting with her parents in those circumstances. So she shouldn’t ask you,’Where will I go?’ That’s none of your business. Play your role as a dad only. That’s what you opened yourself up for by the act of sleeping with her. You didn’t sign up to be husband. Even the law will support you in that.
5. ‘We have to get married now or else…’
If a woman starts threatening you to rush the process of settling down and issuing ultimatums of breakup, you should ask yourself what else she will use force against you for? To get her a particular car of her fancy? To build her a kind of house before you can afford it? To finance a humongous wedding just so she can brag in her circles?
In short, she’s revealing something about her. Something very fearful and dangerous: that she’s controlling and unreasonable. That’s not the character traits you want for a wife.
6. ‘Get a child for me first.’
Some men will want to ‘test your fertility’ or to claim that they need a baby to convince their parents. You can not agree to this conditional love, or else you’ll have opened a can of worms. These kinds of men will also insist on a particular gender and force you to get ten children just to get a boy. Remember the problem with participating in a rat race? Even if you win, you’re still a rat!
Further, any man quoting their parents early on in dating and asking you to do some things just to navigate around his mother or father is a red flag. This could be a mama’s boy, and being with him will be impossible.
Cheat code; when you’re clear about dating celibate, he will never bring up the issue of a child because your bar is already up. People usually bring stupid games when they know you will play.
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